Some might think I’m crazy or have finally lost my mind. Understandably so, I pretty much dropped out of what most consider “normal life” and now I spend most of my time in a nudist resort.
But it’s not just any nudist resort. I’ve only ever been to one (this one) and have been told it’s unlike any other in the country. More quaint, friendlier people than perhaps anywhere and a mountainous setting that truly brings peace. It’s really nice.
The Bloggess thinks I must have had a nervous breakdown, unless, of course, she’s talking about another friend who had a nervous breakdown and moved to a nudist park http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/columns/the-bloggess/. I haven’t asked. She knows a lot of people.
She made a reasonable assumption and I love her like my sister, but that’s not really what happened. I’ll own up to an early mid-life crisis, but never did I suffer a nervous breakdown.
Not that there’s anything wrong with suffering a nervous breakdown. I could use a week crying, catatonic, institutionalized, heavily sedated… whatever happens during a nervous breakdown. I’m not making fun, I really don’t know what happens. My ignorance on this and many other subjects is pretty expansive. I know so little about so much that I don’t even care to learn. That’s me in a nutshell.
This is me in a donut.
This is me in a goat.
This is me in a Charlie Sheen.
Another reason some might assume I went insane is that I had a pretty public meltdown and lost my cool when I came across a group of bullies who had targeted myself and others, some for over a year. It took me to an ugly place and I learned a lot, but mainly that fueling the hate is never the answer.
Since, I’ve maintained a relatively low profile and don’t care to change that. I didn’t do what I did for popularity. I was already popular. If anything, I knew what I did might result in losing that popularity. That was also okay with me, because I don’t do popular well. I have a tendency to smash shit with a hammer when I don’t like it, at least as it pertains to my life.
Since I’ve worked to create a new beginning, I’ve found myself in a cool little cabin in the mountains. I’ve chosen a life of simple pleasures and have officially exited the rat race. I decided that doing something I hate every day was not how I wanted to spend my life. With that, I began focusing on my writing and while I don’t write here that much, I write a lot and it’s how I get by.
I’m about to go walk naked in the woods with my dogs.
I want you to think about that statement. Not that I want you to picture me walking naked through the woods… it’s too late isn’t it? You’re thinking about me naked right now, in the woods, probably wondering what type of dogs I have, what my butt looks like, shit like that. (Sorry, sis, mom, dudes who don’t like man butt.)
You’re probably wondering what I do with my keys and other stuff. And to be honest, the pocket thing is proving to be troublesome. I would say one of my biggest problems is now my complete lack of pockets, which is an awesome biggest problem to have.
Anyway, as I said, I’m not trying to get you to picture me naked, even though you totally are. I’m more trying to get you in the frame of mind where you consider what it would be like to say at 4:00 on a Tuesday, “I’m going to take a naked walk in the woods with my dogs.” Forget that you might not have dogs. You’re missing the point. It’s about being able to make the choice.
Turn back the clock 18 months and I would be sitting in my office, looking at twitter, saying stuff on twitter, doing other internet stuff, etc… now I’m doing all that stuff naked in a mountain cabin. That is progress, my friends.
I’ve never really given you much of a window into me, but I’m kind of like a woman. I’m very sensitive. I won’t watch sad movies because I know they will make me cry and I don’t like to cry. I’m very manly, but girly at the same time. I’m pretty sure I get PMS. I feel a little bloated today. Do I look bloated when you’re picturing me naked in the woods? (You better say no.)
One of the reasons I came here was to begin living life. I wanted to do something exciting and different and maybe something that would inspire me to grow. In a lot of ways, I think that’s happened. The story is just beginning to unfold and you can read up on my adventures to date at www.thedipskinny.wordpress.com .
It’s safe for work, even the one about punching myself in the penis. That was a great day.
I would like to begin writing here more frequently, because this place has a special place in my heart. For me, it’s a whacky chronicling of a major transition in my life, and I also really enjoy looking at the search terms like “mind control potato”.
Sometimes it’s fun to go back and read what I’ve written, other times it’s embarrassing. Some stuff I don’t even recognize and it’s hard for me to imagine where I was at the time I wrote it. A lot I’d like to delete, but I’m going to leave it. Fuck it. I have nothing to hide. And I think it might be the first time I could say that and mean it. It’s a good feeling, and I think I’ll be just fine.
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Good stuff neighbor
Thanks, Timm. See you through the trees.
Glad you will be writing more, Mayo. I am excited when I see the message that there will be new Pie! Yes, yes, I did think of you naked. :-}
I’m going to try, but I’ll certainly update the dipskinny more frequently. It excites me that you are excited. Seriously.
So, if you’re doing all this writing, where’s it ending up? You’re not updating either blog all that frequently. We’re curious. And not just the royal “we.”
Nothing you’d be interested in. General web copy and shit. I also write at http://www.draftdaysuit.com weekly, mostly, which is sports. I use it as my outlet for mocking superstars who will undoubtedly want to punch me. For example, former Packer great Gilbert Brown called me a dummy in January. I’m still thinking about kicking his ass. I also enjoy Favre bashing and long walks on the beach.
What is the Nudist Insect Repellent of choice? Because you gotta be going through cases of that stuff tromping all naked through the wilderness and whatnot.
Actually, I have a policy with the bugs, kind of. I figure they outnumber me and they know where I sleep. That’s when I’m at my most vulnerable and they know it. Typically I do my best to not kill them so they don’t turn on me. Only one attacked my penis and considering how many there are in the woods, I think I’m doing pretty well.
That grasshopper was clearly impaired from the flood light incident. I’m thinking your germaphobia might be working in your favor here. You probably taste antisepticky. So, well played I guess.
My question is why a nuidist park? Was this something you’ve always wanted to try or did you just pick some ramdom new adventure? Please don’t resort to wearing a fanny pack to compensate for pockets. It would really ruin the mental image of you walking in the woods I’ve got going.
In short, I bought a little rv and was looking for a place to spend a week. A random rv park sounded boring to me, and this sounded kind of exciting, different, and even something that would get me out of my shell. I enjoyed it so much, I made it a long term arrangement. It’s really not so much about the being naked, but that is a bonus.
You need a pocket pocket. I’m going to make you one.
Wow! You sound like myself. I am working on achieving the same goal. I decided some time ago to live a simpler life, to hell with what society wants. I discovered Sol Sante Club on Vancouver island last summer and it felt like home. Unfortunately it is closed from Oct.-Apr. so it is not a year round option. I envy you, and hope to reach my dream of living in a nudist community. If you have advice or tips on how to do this, I would love the help.